Judith Tshabalala – A Jonathan sent from above

Yep that’s her; she is a real blessing to me indeed.

We met at high school; we were in the same class from 1999 to 2003. But we didn’t always like each other though. In grade 8 we literally despised each other, but in the following year we became super bff’s.

On the first day of school in 2000, I was running a bit late that by the time I got to school all the kids were in their classrooms and I still had to find my new class.

As I walked in, she waved at me (I was so surprised) and I noticed she was sitting alone, so I joined her. It was a bit awkward at first because just about a month ago we were enemies.

As time went, we were known as twins. We had lunch together, sang together (we sang, gosh we sang), but it was her heart that I found remarkable. She loved me more than any friend had ever loved me. When I wasn’t ok, for whatever reason, I knew I could count on her.

She would sacrifice her lunch money so I could get to school. I remember on numerous occasions I’d walk in class, sit down and whisper to her “I don’t have money to go back home after school” and a plan would be made.

I had a huge problem with my eyesight and as a result, she would take down all the notes on the chalkboard as fast as she can and by the end of the period give me the book to take home and copy the notes.

I also battled with Afrikaans as I never did it as part of my languages in primary school (oh what horror it was), so I would write my spraak (Afrikaans word for speech)in English, take my dictionary and translate it, then I would give it to her to check if my spraak made sense. At times she would just burst with laughter “haai sekuyinhlamba phela le, lol ufuna ukuthi kahlehle lol”

And like all girls we had our fair share of fights, but we never let it brew longer than necessary though. If any of us was wrong and just battling with apologizing, we’d write a note on a piece of paper and literally throw it at each other, by the end of the day it would all be forgotten.

There was sometime during high school when I had to sell niknaks (ok well, hobo snacks) to be able to get to school every day. Every morning I would bring about two very large carry bags filled with these. Now because of the demand of these I had to have rules of sale (that’s what we called it). I would only sell at a certain time and place. I would not EVER stop and sell to someone cause then in a few seconds, I’d have a tens and tens of kids buying from me and I’d then literally fight them off (it wasn’t pretty). So whenever I had to g to the loo, I’d tell her “don’t sell, not even to a single person ok?” when I come back she would be screaming “Fortunate, uyabonake abantu bakho?” because she decided to sell to one person and the next and the next and by the time she knows it, she’s flooded by school kids.

Then came boys, my goodness I was naughty. She had a crush on this guy who was two grades ahead of us. He was cute shame; my friend would melt every time she saw him. And me being me, whenever we saw this poor guy facing the opposite direction I’d call his name and when he turns to look I’d just sing, my friend on the other hand would melt like butter on a hot saucepan lol. I had a crush on this guy and I am still too embarrassed to say what I did, but I did not do something stupid.

Her family was really amazing. I was treated like one of their own. I spent a lot of nights at her house and we’d sit in the kitchen close to the coal stove, those were the days.

This is to just appreciate her as a friend, a sister a pillar, confidant and cheerleader – N.J. Tshabalala

1 Sam 18:3-4 ³ And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. ⁴ Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.

When faith for a better tomorrow is all you can hold on to - Hold on to it even tighter!

This past weekend made me sit back and really thank God for his amazing love and faithfulness. Had I not had the courage to move forward, I‘d still be stuck where I was, I would still be unhappy and miserable.

I remember when I made the decision to end my four year old marriage to a man I had known and been with since my teenage years. The decision was not an overnight one. It took me about a good six months to conclude. I often sat alone and cried about what would happen. The guilt of taking my children from their father was unbearable, but the thought of my life being stuck in unhappiness and possible depression was even more hurting.

I knew that for me to be a good mother, I had to take care of me and I knew my marriage was one of the things that had to go.

A lot of people blamed me, but of cause I wasn’t s and still am not about to discuss the reasons for my divorce.

I was still a student when it happened, so financially I was at a bad place. There were months when I was over budget by a quarter of my salary. How I got through all that, is by God’s grace. Then there were people who thought they knew about me, who were very annoying with their constant questions.

I made a decision not to move back to my parent’s house as I needed time for just me and the kids to heal all together without any third party influence. My son was ok, but my daughter wasn’t very impressed. I remember one day she said to me if she was married, she would never leave her husband and make her kids move in into some low standard place. With tears in my eyes, I just looked at her. I wasn’t upset at all, but very hurt for causing her so much frustration, confusion and sadness which I couldn’t explain to her.

I knew it wasn’t going to be easy starting a new life, but I also knew it’s what I wanted. Looking back now after two and a half years I am glad I took that step. It has brought me to a place I never thought possible. I dreamed of being here and today I am finally here. I can only think of what the future will be like.

2 Kings7 v 3 Now there were four men with leprosy at the entrance of the city gate. They said to each other, “Why stay here until we die? ⁴ If we say, ‘We’ll go into the city’—the famine is there, and we will die. And if we stay here, we will die. So let’s go over to the camp of the Arameans and surrender. If they spare us, we live; if they kill us, then we die.”
⁵ At dusk they got up and went to the camp of the Arameans. When they reached the edge of the camp, no one was there, ⁶ for the Lord had caused the Arameans to hear the sound of chariots and horses and a great army, so that they said to one another, “Look, the king of Israel has hired the Hittite and Egyptian kings to attack us!” ⁷ So they got up and fled in the dusk and abandoned their tents and their horses and donkeys. They left the camp as it was and ran for their lives.
⁸ The men who had leprosy reached the edge of the camp, entered one of the tents and ate and drank. Then they took silver, gold and clothes, and went off and hid them. They returned and entered another tent and took some things from it and hid them also.
⁹ Then they said to each other, “What we’re doing is not right. This is a day of good news and we are keeping it to ourselves. If we wait until daylight, punishment will overtake us. Let’s go at once and report this to the royal palace.”
¹⁰ So they went and called out to the city gatekeepers and told them, “We went into the Aramean camp and no one was there—not a sound of anyone—only tethered horses and donkeys, and the tents left just as they were.” ¹¹ The gatekeepers shouted the news, and it was reported within the palace.
¹² The king got up in the night and said to his officers, “I will tell you what the Arameans have done to us. They know we are starving; so they have left the camp to hide in the countryside, thinking, ‘They will surely come out, and then we will take them alive and get into the city.’”
¹³ One of his officers answered, “Have some men take five of the horses that are left in the city. Their plight will be like that of all the Israelites left here—yes, they will only be like all these Israelites who are doomed. So let us send them to find out what happened.”
¹⁴ So they selected two chariots with their horses, and the king sent them after the Aramean army. He commanded the drivers, “Go and find out what has happened.” ¹⁵ They followed them as far as the Jordan, and they found the whole road strewn with the clothing and equipment the Arameans had thrown away in their headlong flight. So the messengers returned and reported to the king. ^{16 Lord had said.}Then the people went out and plundered the camp of the Arameans. So a seah of the finest flour sold for a shekel, and two seahs of barley sold for a shekel, as the
¹⁷ Now the king had put the officer on whose arm he leaned in charge of the gate, and the people trampled him in the gateway, and he died, just as the man of God had foretold when the king came down to his house. ¹⁸ It happened as the man of God had said to the king: “About this time tomorrow, a seah of the finest flour will sell for a shekel and two seahs of barley for a shekel at the gate of Samaria.”
¹⁹ The officer had said to the man of God, “Look, even if the Lord should open the floodgates of the heavens, could this happen?” The man of God had replied, “You will see it with your own eyes, but you will not eat any of it!” ²⁰ And that is exactly what happened to him, for the people trampled him in the gateway, and he died.
Be blessed beyond.

I do not need to be a giant; I just need to be me, small me!

God’s promises are so huge and vast, that when I look at them I just feel I need to be someone important to actually be good and have this great confidence to be certified good enough to possess them.

I was born a bright star, smart intelligent but childhood abuse changed my character completely. I learned to survive. Before the age of 25, I had kids and was divorced. Although some may say it was the beginning of the end, it was quite the opposite. For the first time in my life I enjoyed what my peers were enjoying for years: Self Identity.

This was the best thing to ever happen to me, an awesome blessing I once thought never possible. At last I could be my own person, make decisions and not have to report to anyone but God.

At the age of 20, I was diagnosed with severe depression, I lost a great deal of independence; I was literally put on constant watch so I wouldn’t harm myself. About a month before my 21st birthday, I was hospitalised after I overdosed on my anti-depressant (to this day, I struggle to swallow pills).

It took some serious spiritual and emotional work to be here today. I once asked God why he saved. I mean a lot of people go through what I went through and they never make it. It’s very simple; God pre-destined this life for me. All that I went through couldn’t break me as the work I was created for is not done yet. And part of it is sharing this.

With each day, I am thankful to be alive, to watch God unfold another layer of me. I may not fully understand what He wants for my life, but I know that from the small me shall rise a giant to be reckoned with, it’s not over by a long shot. I may be inferior in others eyes, but the one who created in me has purpose for my existence and every day I look at just how far He has taken me and then my faith in Him rises some more. I am beyond the age of seeking verification from others; I am confident that I am like no other, I am unique and loaded.

Gen37 v⁵ Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. He said to them, “Listen to this dream I had:6  ^7 8 We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it.” His brothers said to him, “Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?” And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said.⁹ Then he had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. “Listen,” he said, “I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.” When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, “What is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?” 11 His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind. 10 
Be beyond blessed, I know I am.

Gen 41 v³⁸ And Pharaoh said to his servants, “Can we find a man like this, in whom is the Spirit of God?” ³⁹ Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has shown you all this, there is none so discerning and wise as you are. ⁴⁰ You shall be over my house, and all my people shall order themselves as you command. Only as regards the throne will I be greater than you.” ⁴¹ And Pharaoh said to Joseph, “See, I have set you over all the land of Egypt.” ⁴² Then Pharaoh took his signet ring from his hand and put it on Joseph's hand, and clothed him in garments of fine linen and put a gold chain about his neck. ⁴³ And he made him ride in his second chariot. And they called out before him, “Bow the knee!” Thus he set him over all the land of Egypt.