Case of the Ex – uncensored!

All of a sudden my ex rocks up from nowhere. And I really thank God because if he had showed up this time last year, I probably would have fallen back into his arms. But this time I am like “Oh really, shame man”.

One would say I am bitter, but I am not. I am just no longer there, I’ve moved and grown.

I remember how I used to beg this guy. O my lawd, like begggg! We’d have a tiff and guess what. He’d be on silent mode lol, haai we ladies really do take crap yazi - how I thankful I am we’re through.

Just imagine me – me bagging a guy – that guy iyooooh!

This whole thing made me realise just how much I’ve grown. It’s true what they say – what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Phela when I broke up with him, the pain was so intense it felt like my heart was ran over by a train. Sometimes I wished I could take out of my chest and run it under cold water – you know just so it could cool off. I listened to Mariah Carey’s H.A.T.E U; Ciara’s Never ever just to mention a few.

Because my self esteem was so low, I felt like I’d never find (oh sorry, I mean be found) by  man 5 times better, I thought he was the it – but the it wouldn’t hurt me like that. The it would care about us from the onset.

Please can I just mention the prayers hle bathong lol! ‘Lord can you please fix us, God I love him…’ I am sure Jesus was on some ‘Oh gosh, is she still crying over that?’

One day a close friend of mine (who couldn’t stand the ex) asked me what is it that I miss about him and you know, I really had no answer. He was selfish, proud, arrogant and (gosh, I am gonna outta fingers counting here lol). It was the idea of having a man I missed, he was hard working and I really liked that about him. .

But still, he wasn’t as hard working on our relationship as he should have and what hurt the most is how quickly he dated – like a week later quickly!

This isn’t a hate mail, oh no. this is a note by a woman who has had to learn of her worth the hard and painful way. After the break up, I set down and I told God all about it, I wrote down all that I desired to see in myself first before in a partner – and as you can see, I am there, I have arrived. It also taught me to pray to God about every single who asks me out. It might seem foreign to others, but it works for me. I’d rather be impossible than nurse a broken heart that’s for sure– oh sorry, once bitten twice shy. He can go be single somewhere else for all I care!

I am simply blessed beyond…